Last year, at a women’s conference in London, I was disappointed to see that digital inclusion — and AI in particular — was missing from the agenda. I remember telling the NGO’s CEO about my concerns, even mentioning my articles on AI as a techno-patriarchal tool.

Her receptive response had given me hope. That hope was reignited this year when I eagerly reviewed the program and discovered a panel on AI.

The evening before the event, an unexpected sense of dread began to settle in. When I asked myself why, the answer struck me like a lightning bolt.

I dreaded hearing the “we need more women in tech” mantra once more – another example of how we deflect the solution of a systemic problem to those bearing the brunt of it.

Let me tell you what I mean.

Women as Human Fixers 

For millennia, women had been assigned the duty to give birth and care for children, rooted in the fact that most of them can carry human fetuses for 9 months. That duty to be a womb endures today, where ownership of our bodies is being taken away through coercive anti-abortion laws.

Our “duty” of care has been broadened to the workplace, where we’ve been assigned the unwritten rule of “fixing” all that’s dysfunctional.

• Coerced into doing things nobody else cares to do, i.e. weaponised incompetence.
• Fixing teams’ dynamics because we’re the “naturally” collaborative ones.
• Doing the glue work — being appointed the shoulder where all team members can cry and find an “empathetic ear”.
• Do the office work — we’re the ones that are “organised”, so dull tasks pile up on our desks whilst “less” organised peers do the promotable work.

And that “fixer” stereotype now includes “our” duties as women in tech. When the sector was in its infancy, women were doing the supposedly boring stuff (programming) while men were doing the hardware (the “cool” stuff). When computers took off, we trained men in programming so they could become our managers. Then, we were pushed out of those jobs in the 1980s. The only constant has been doing the job but not getting the accolades (see women’s role in Bletchley Park, Hidden Figures).

Moreover, whilst statistics tell us that 50% of women leave tech by age 35, young girls and women are supposed to brush off that “inconvenient” truth and rest assured that tech is an excellent place for a career. Moreover, that they are anointed to make tech work for everybody.

What’s not to like, right?

Then, let me show the to-do list of 21 tasks and expectations the world imposes on each woman in tech.

21 Things I’m Fed Up With As A Woman In Tech

1. Requests to be a role model
2. Requests of pictures for #IWD adopting the silly and ableist “pose” of the year fabricated by the site International Women’s Day that is NOT related to the #IWD UN theme of the year.
3. Hearing men implying that they support women because they have a daughter.
4. People who introduce me to other women to mentor them without my consent.
5. Work colleagues confusing me with an HR professional because of my DEI advocacy.
6. Others voluntelling me as an unpaid speaker, coach and writer for women in tech events.
7. Managers assuming that I prefer to be in a booth promoting a STEM event for women rather than focusing on my career.
8. People referring to my work towards making tech more inclusive of women and other underrepresented groups as “passion”, like it was a hobby.
9. The world expecting women in tech to fix toxic tech workplaces and unethical and biased apps.
10. Being mansplained, hepeated, and maninterrupted.
11. Learning about female whistleblowers tech getting fired.
12. The pretence that a hackathon, a stem t-shirt, or a competition is enough to lure young girls and women into tech. Don’t believe me? Check the UK’s AI Opportunities Action Plan.
13. The exclusion of women who don’t code from the term “women in tech” even if they’re key to the industry’s success (e.g. technical sales, support, product managers…).
14. People blaming women in tech’s lack of career progression on our “imposter syndrome”, even when we know women receive worse code reviews simply for being women.
15. Women in other sectors expecting us to fix tech misogyny.
16. People more worried about how many girls like coding than the reasons why 50% of women leave the tech sector by age 35.
17. Pretending that more women in tech are a substitute for regulation and law enforcement.
18. Thinking that our mere presence in tech — without power — will be the magic bullet to fix the downsides of scaling AI systems without guardrails.
19. Being passed for promotion because of benevolent sexism.
20. Being paid less than our peers for the same work.
21. Being sexually and mentally harassed.

The Outcome

“It’s sadly easy to reverse meaning, in fact, to tell a lie, by offering an accurate but incomplete quote.” 

Octavia Butler 

Unfortunately, my nightmare became a reality. Most of the discussion during the panel on AI focused on how to convince more girls and young women to embrace coding. Moreover, one of the panellists even advanced that until the number of women in tech increases, we won’t be able to progress towards more responsible AI systems.

Fortunately, one of the panellists mentioned how she used to be harassed when working in tech years ago. However, she only got some nods, and nobody appeared interested in delving deeper.

She also came up with a memorable sentence: 

The problem is not having more women in tech but getting men out of the way.

That one got a roaring applause from the audience and a big cheer from me.

From my side, I raised my hand during the Q&A but I didn’t get the microphone. I’d love to have said

If you want better tech, lobby for it, boycott companies that don’t align with your values, support female whistleblowers, and request your politicians to regulate tech and stop issuing insignificant fines to billionaire — and trillionaire — offenders.

I’m not your tech fixer or your AI avenger. I’m only a woman in tech.

WORK WITH ME

I’m a technologist with 20+ years of experience in digital transformation. I’m also an award-winning inclusion strategist and certified life and career coach.

Three ways you can work with me:

• I help ambitious women in tech who are overwhelmed to break the glass ceiling and achieve success without burnout through bespoke coaching and mentoring.
• I’m a ​sought-after international keynote speaker​ on strategies to empower women and underrepresented groups in tech, sustainable and ethical artificial intelligence, and inclusive workplaces and products.
• I empower non-tech leaders to harness the potential of artificial intelligence for sustainable growth and responsible innovation through consulting and AI competency programs.

Get in touch to discuss how I can help you achieve the success you deserve in 2025.